Big-Little Self

Last week, while I was putting a load of laundry in the dryer and preparing the water, yeast and honey for the challah while Panther was setting up our new game - Dicecapades.  As I am walking up the stairs, I hear him moan "Oh no!" and then run frantically out the door.  I look out to see that it is raining, and think he must have left something outside that he doesn't want to get wet.  So I look to find him, and, when I spy him, I realize that inside his mind, the "Oh,no!" was followed by something like "...it's raining and I am not out playing in it!"  Because when I saw him, what I saw was...

 

I heard him making all sorts of truck noises and spalshing noises that I am convinced only boys can do (or at least, it comes much more naturally to). 

 

Oh, my little water boy!  He seemed so grown up that morning when he was making his bed, playing recorder and chopping and carrying wood.  But as I gaze upon him out there, shirtless, barefoot, and full of wonder at simple things, like rain and puddles and dumptrucks, I realize that he is still a little boy, as well.

 

I see the nine-year-change slowly emerging, and it is so amazing to have already gone through it once with Dove, and have at least a basic understanding of this developmental stage.  I can see it happening right before my eyes...that desire for freedom, that "striving" to be more mature, and at the same time, the carefree innocence and need to run home to mama to kiss hurts and get excited about little things (though not always in front of his buds).

 

 

I can also see the havoc that wreaks inside his big-little self - that self that is growing so strong and capable, yet is still so dependent upon the grown-ups around him.  It can be really challenging to be a Mother (and I imagine, a Father)  during this time...but it can be really, really challenging to have a Mother (or a Father) at this time, too.

 

Either way, I wouldn't give it up for the world.  This little guy is one of my greatest teachers and I am so blessed to watch him grow as I grow right along with him!